We are all guilty; we get caught up in our everyday lives – have our heads so far up our own arse that, easily enough, we forget to play the role of being a decent friend.
Many things get in the way – it is called LIFE.
You might have a work thing, something going down in your relationship, moving house – things like that. The point is this: while significant circumstances take place and eat up your time, your friends are sat around twiddling their thumbs.
And don’t worry, it happens to you too! Truth is, everyone has a life.
However, in this day and age, we are blessed with this wondrous thing called “Technology.” Now, technology permits ways in which we have no excuse BUT to be in touch with one another.
The virtual world grants access to all kinds of ways that you can let people know that you care – even if it is just a quick emoji.
That’s right! It doesn’t take a pen-pal situation to let someone know that you are thinking of them or a 20-minute phone call where you have the awkwardness of “You hang up,” “No-wait you hang up.”
Nor do your friends need the constant updates of your every move of everyday life.
A quick “Hello!” can literally be a quick “Hello.”
Also, according to today’s therapists, there are many ways you can ensure to play the decent friend role even when you are busy busy.
1. Give the juice! Make it exciting but leave room for suspense . . .
No-one needs your life story – in fact – they are about to switch off at the point you say you “got outta bed, brushed your tee-” blabla *yawn*
Nor is anyone interested in writing an entire essay of every last detail of each thing that happened in the time spent between seeing each other – you know?
Leave at least something for the face-to-face catch-up! Otherwise, you will have nothing to talk about!
Keep it simple! Nowadays you have the luxury of a GIF to say a thousand words! It doesn’t take much to reveal what you`re up to, how you feel or your whereabouts – the modern way to ‘share’ is upon us!
Smartphones with cameras galore!
A marriage family therapist in Little Rock, Arkansas, Becky Whetstone, said “Text something from your day, [attach your real-life pic], what’s up with you?’”
Making a pal laugh or even a little jealous is one sure way to get their attention.
2. Don’t sit around doing Jack – use the traffic jam to your advantage
Frustrated with the state of the queue to nowhere? What’s the use in screaming at other driver’s about it and winding yourself up even more?
Turn the waiting game into an opportunity to let people know that you are thinking of them and make use of the time. It is simple! So everyone is a winner . . .
Before you know it, the car crash ahead is fixed, and away you go. Not only that, your loved one and you had that all-needed catch up – that good old chinwag was all it took to pass the time and relieve the pair of you.
Marie Land, a psychologist in Washington, D.C., suggested such a thing, but hey – it’s not exactly rocket science, is it?
“Many people feel their commutes are just a waste of time and life but try of calling or texting friends when you’re coming and going from work.”
A formerly queue is not only a pile up in the road either, but the same also goes for standing in a bank, waiting for a cashier in the supermarket, standing in a bank, lingering for a cashier in the supermarket, dentist waiting room – whatever!
Why watch paint dry? Tell your friends you love them!
3. Make a note of a friend in need and be a friend, indeed.
If you genuinely care about someone, then sit quietly and listen. Allow a person to offload, be a shoulder to cry on, offer your advice and most of all, remember to follow it up later down the line.
What really makes a difference? Someone who gives a shit after the fact and checks up on how things are going!
4. Likewise, vent to the right person!
Let a person in on your secrets, tell them how you really feel about something – the friendship game is all about trust. And hey? We’re all human.
Never be afraid to seek out advice, too. Here is a way that always makes a person feel good – to know that their opinion matters to you.
5. Use the technology! Get with the times! However, don’t let that be it . . .
OK, OK – you can video call, facetime, whatever.
But still! There is nothing quite the same as a real get together:
IN THE FLESH.
“. . . friendships can thrive on text, but I’d say you should meet in person every three to six months at least,” is what Whetstone said.
6. Regram! And the joys of social media reminders.
When you open up your Facebook, nine times out of ten it is going to pop up with a memory. “Remember that night when ______??”
(Fill in the blank!)
There is always someone else involved in these shenanigans – bringing back the memz always get people tickled.
Baggage Check psychologist and host of the live weekly chat on The Washington Post site, Andrea Bonior, states that it is healthy to “Text those random memories that make you laugh.”
Say no more!